Really sorry you're going through this. I hope you're finding a few bright moments here and there. 5 was still a difficult, draining age in our house, but it gets easier. You'll find your kid playing more independently soon, maybe even just wanting to do their thing while you do yours, and that'll be a relief. It took me a long time to accept that life is different now, and to not obsess over the differences. Once I did, I suddenly found myself motivated to pick up old hobbies and felt more of a connection to my kiddo. Hang in there, and take care of yourself.