As someone who owns a lifestyle business, I think the domain of lifestyle businesses is almost entirely distinct from that of startups. Something that has the potential to be a startup (massive growth), could not be "held back" to remain a lifestyle business. And things that are lifestyle business generally cannot be grown at the pace of a startup.
Almost by definition, a lifestyle business lacks the potential for massive growth. If it has it, and the owner tries to 'hold it back' someone else will come along and capture the rest of the market. The incentive to do so is large.
Occasionally, you will see privately held businesses that have the potential of startups, but they are not lifestyle businesses (maybe mailchimp). They grow into full fledged businesses that just happen to be privately held. They will often find ways of funding their growth (and have options for doing so), even if that isn't VC.
That said, lifestyle businesses are awesome for your lifestyle. I didn't think I wanted one until I ended up with one, and it turns out high-ish income, total control of your time, and direct positive relationships with customers are a great lifestyle for me.
This framing assumes that venture capital is both efficient and perfect at identifying potential for massive growth. In reality, there are many technology companies with potential for massive growth that are under-appreciated by the venture community - they don't fit into the right boxes, and if they were to get on the "fundraising treadmill" as the OP describes it, they'd be stuck in a situation where they're forced to spend aggressively without being able to rely on future fundraising making that burn sustainable. The good news is that would-be competitors would be in the same situation. So it's very possible for such a company to think like a startup in terms of its goals, but move at a more sustainable pace than if it were given hundreds of millions to burn. And those startups can still raise from VC when they've proven out their model, if they choose to do so - but it's important that they have a path to success as a startup that doesn't require those levels of cash injections.
Almost by definition, a lifestyle business lacks the potential for massive growth. If it has it, and the owner tries to 'hold it back' someone else will come along and capture the rest of the market. The incentive to do so is large.
Occasionally, you will see privately held businesses that have the potential of startups, but they are not lifestyle businesses (maybe mailchimp). They grow into full fledged businesses that just happen to be privately held. They will often find ways of funding their growth (and have options for doing so), even if that isn't VC.
That said, lifestyle businesses are awesome for your lifestyle. I didn't think I wanted one until I ended up with one, and it turns out high-ish income, total control of your time, and direct positive relationships with customers are a great lifestyle for me.