The thing is no one is saying that starting a process every time isn't a valid way to work — it works great in most scripting languages. What people are saying is that since it's slow and annoying in Julia currently, you might want to consider a REPL-based workflow with Revise. If the response to that is "But I don't wanna use the REPL!!" then what can one do? Ok, don't use the REPL. But as everyone has agreed, it's going to be a bit annoying. If that's a dealbreaker for you then you may not want to use Julia just yet — which is totally ok!
That interaction unfortunately seems to often get characterized as "The Julia devs don't care about startup time! They insist on REPL-driven development and refuse to work on it." Never mind that improving startup time and package loading has been the number one priority of the compiler team since Julia 1.0 and that it's gotten about 10x faster. There's also ongoing work to make it even faster using system images.
> well the REPL is literally the interactive piece that caches the compilation so just use it if that's what you're trying to do?
This answer may be exactly the kind of hostility that the GP is talking about.
People may have legitimate reasons for not using the REPL. Instead of adressing these reasons you dismiss them. A textbook case of "holding it wrong".