That is not guilt tripping. I am programmer. The flexible work is seen as a right and company that does not provide it as overly controlling and bad place for work - that is quite universal in both real life and online. And it is not just that, occasional work from home is also seen as basic perk you totally expect. And my colleges are using that right - and that is not blame, just a statement of fact.
The fact is, majority of female dominated jobs are on the opposite of the spectrum. And those jobs are even thrown into every damm discussion about men/women differences while also the very same discussion talk about women having more flexibility. Because women are supposed to be primary care giver and primary care giver is supposed to want flexibility.
It just so happen that wanting something does not necessary gives you that.
My point is not that programmer should feel guilty. My point is that arguing that women=flexible hours is wrong, faulty argument based on some romantic idealized dream. The argument completely ignores the kind of work women do.
Do you have any experience with this? I have a father in law that has been together with a nurse manager for many years now, and she is the reason for the argument. Mothers of young children ask for less hours, less crappy shifts, and ability to take days off work with sick children. And they get it.
But regardless, those kind jobs are unionized here and the pay is not something you negotiate. Not for women, or men. In other words, they don't represent the difference in wages, because they are fixed and they do, by design, not differ just because you become a parent.
I can work full hours and more precisely because flexible hours help a lot to deal with kids needed something. If I had fixed shifts, either I or husband would have to have less hours or someone would have to help us occasionally.
Same with sick kids. When you can work from home or remote (my company does not allow much of it, husbands does a lot of it and people use it) then you do not need free time because kids are sick. You work from home or in evening.
There is no trade off between pay, perks and flexible time. People who get high salaries get perks too. Same with flexible time.
If flexibility was motivation when choosing jobs, women and men would choose completely different jobs to begin with.
The fact is, majority of female dominated jobs are on the opposite of the spectrum. And those jobs are even thrown into every damm discussion about men/women differences while also the very same discussion talk about women having more flexibility. Because women are supposed to be primary care giver and primary care giver is supposed to want flexibility.
It just so happen that wanting something does not necessary gives you that.
My point is not that programmer should feel guilty. My point is that arguing that women=flexible hours is wrong, faulty argument based on some romantic idealized dream. The argument completely ignores the kind of work women do.